A Letter I Could Never Give/Tell to my Childhood Playmate

Five years ago we were playmates. Yeah, I was in high school and I play with you and your sister and our neighbors while you we're midway through elementary school. I'm three years older than you but we never mind, we play and play and play together until we bathed in our own sweat and we smelled stinky as hell. As the sun sets, we would go back to hour houses, looking forward for another round of Tagu-taguan next day.

Three years ago, I went to college without bidding farewell, You just started with high school-- so young-- you wouldn't care. As for me, I knew as soon as I graduated, I knew that I was too old for Langit-lupa and I have to deal with the problems of my troubled family, and the only way I could do that is by maturing. You wouldn't care for those things yet, but for me, I have to face the consequences of being three years older than you.

Then here I am, coming back to the neighborhood three years after I took off. My brother and sister are now in school and the town changed so much . I saw you...all grown-up...height is taller, shoulders are wider and voice is deeper. Yet, you still have that fluffy big brown eyes on your blemish-free face. You looked at me and smiled and I sent it back to you. But that's it. However deep inside, I wished we could talk about the three years we didn't see each other.

I see you everyday. We almost left our own home for school at the same time but we still do not talk. Maybe you matured too and found yourself too old to have a talk with your childhood  playmate. Or maybe we have different lives now---me going through college, establishing myself; and you coping and adjusting yourself through adolescence. I'm three years older than you and this age gap seems longer than it actually is.

To tell you the truth, I longed for the day you and I sit side-by-side, hands clasped, and my head resting on your broad shoulder. Not that I love you but I do like you. I am three years older and that makes me legal now and you are still not. These three years is hard for us to understand. i have too much burden but you still have the enthusiasm every day. I wouldn't want to take that away from you. But looking at you everyday makes my heart pounds wildly and every time you smile at me makes my blood rush to my face (Thanks to my dark complexion, you never noticed). but now, being three years older than you, I think the farthest I could go with you is just cherishing your malice-devoid smile and selfishly enjoy the instantaneous pleasure of seeing you smiling at me.

I was supposed to write this blog last night but I am so dead tired of a whole day walking on a 5-inch heels. On the plus side, while visiting my high school, I met (not really met met) this uber cute senior boy. Ahhhhhh, I feel so old being 18 and being legal, I might be sued for child abuse if I tried to flirt with this cute guy. Hahaha, oh well, I am still looking for love........my 2011 love predictions are on the positive side.

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Sometime around 9PM last night, my lolo and I spotted Jupiter on the Western sky. In these past few days, Jupiter reigned as the brightest celestial object because Venus is not yet visible. The thing about Jupiter is that it moves fast so an amateur sky observer with an ordinary telescope has a little time to catch this planet on the sky. Also, I just appreciated living on the suburbs because of it is devoid of light pollution and it is easier to star gaze.

Here are the photos taken from my lol's TASCO telescope and my N6600.

Jupiter is the one in the center. Io, its biggest moon is the one on the upper left. The blurred colors on the lower side amazed me.

Another picture of Jupiter

PS: It is so hard aligning my phone's lens to the lens of the telescope. It is much easier doing this using a microscope.

I love how hair accessories are re-surfacing right now. You know those flowers, feathers, eye veils, hats, head chains/strings and everything (I don't know actually what to call them)? Yeah those things amazes me. Well, it has been a long time since hair accessories appear on ordinary day Filipino fashion. Maybe it is too hot here in the Philippines but I believe that this generation deemed them unfashionable. But here I see people now wearing flowers, feathers and tiaras on their head. I could thank Pokwang for her daily headdress during her Wowowee days (although most of them are comically absurd and "unwearable") for the resurrecting these supposed-to-be-extinct fashion accessories.

But the thing about these on going crave for roses and wings on one hair is that you get the sense that something is not right. I am not a fashion expert (and I always get criticized by the way I dress) but I am not that fashion unaware to know that one wears a horrible and pretentious tiara. You can always get to know if one is not wearing it the proper way. And it irritates me a lot, just like Mich Dulce was irritated by the hats in Rosario.

Yeah I know, fashion is art and art is about expressing one's self but you can't always wear a obnoxious feather hair band and pair it up with your pambahay (aka pambili ng suka) attire. Worse, your shining neon violet head band doesn't go with your yellow and brown polka dot dress. Not that you look atrocious but it makes me wanna hit you straight to your face. One is free to express herself but there are just things that look disgusting to another's eye.

So lesson for today: Don't try to pretentiously over decorate yourself.

PS. My lolo's friend asked me to do a brochure and I got paid. yey, photoshop is my bestfriend!

Since it is new year, then it is unavoidable to wonder what is in store for us for the next 12 months of our life. Questions about luck, love, career, money etc often flood during the first few weeks of the year and here comes our super experts (and some funny pretenders like Madame Auring) in feng shui and zodiac. Well, I personally don't believe in these and totally believe that one makes her own fate. However, as curious as I am, I found myself browsing to feng shui/horoscope websites and took notes on my zodiac predictions.

2011 is the year of the metal rabbit. They say that these year will be guided by the gracious and pristine manners of the rabbit. For most of us, this will be a generous year. Since I was born June 11, 1992 my signs in the Chinese and Western Zodiac are monkey and gemini. Here are some few predictions and advices from them:

Gemini:
     -can achieve more than they will lose.
     - should not rush things, makes decisions rushly
     - Main line of conduct should be the ability to harmoniously fit into any situation and not resist it
    Love:
     - may engage in several romances at once (sounds like many boyfriends.....ooooh)
     - destiny will provide the ideal partner (I can't wait)
     - will spend summer in love
     - romantic relationship entered during the year will last long.
    Career
     - good luck will guide entire 2011


Monkey:
    - A very busy life filled with humour, quarrels, tear reconciliation are standard liaison for 2011
    -  has a good chance of becoming famous and well-known
    - It is necessary to know own limits and avoid gambling and speculations.


Sounds like a good year for me then. But what I look forward for this year is about my love life. I want to experience a full-time romance, unanchored on sexual drives and full of passions. Well maybe because of the gay flicks that I have recently watched (I recommend Latter Days, Shelter and Une question d'amour) but also because of my eagerness to meet my true love.


Can't really wait for this year. Yes to positivity.  

So yeah, goodbye 2010 for good and hello positivity for 2011.I wasted 2010 from doing nothing but staring at the screens of computers and finding myself. Last year was my first year and here comes 2011 which brings me a generous amount of hope.


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So the first song I sung this year was Better Days. I dunno why I chose to sing this song but somehow it gives me the eerie feeling of a pre-telling. Great song to start the year!


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11:40 AM

Just finished watching The Black Swan starring Natalie Portman. Great watch all I can say. Except that Natalie Portman forgot to wear a nipple tape. lol. The ballet was nice, the plot is superb. This is what I call a movie. Not just a cheap recycled material compared to Enteng Kabisote and Agimat shiz.

NP may not deserve the Oscars for 2011 but nevertheless, she did a great acting.

Highly Recomended.

Just look at NP's neck here. She does deserve the Best Neck Award. NP doesn't fail me. I sooooo love her. Especially in The Other Boleyn Girl. One of the best actresses in her crop.