How To Write a Hate Mail

Finally, I have written my first hate letter ever addressed to this annoying "friend" of mine who thinks we are best friends. You see, this gay guy always drags me to his (sex-) escapades which I decline every time he asks me too. To make the story short, he wants me to be with him every time he has a "booking" for me to witness how "beautiful" he is in the eyes of those slackers-slash-addicts-slash-not my type of guys. So, five hours ago, I started to write a hate letter to vent out my abomination (Yes, that's the word!) to this "friend" and I am now contemplating on whether or not I should send it to him or not (Well, that depends on my mood.).


Well, writing a hate letter is something that doesn't come out easily. Firstly, because they tend to be emotional and secondly, because expressing what you feel in words is always difficult. In the course of writing my first ever hate mail, I came to realize that there are several things that matter when writing one. Here are they: 

1. Never write while you’re angry. Feel free to replace the word ‘angry’ with any other strong emotion (sad, hellbent, crying). Writing while you’re angry or overly emotion is dangerous. So, take a break and breathe deep before the pen ever touches the pad. BUT, feel free to rant on Twitter or a paper so that you can always refer to some of the words you have used. They are may be beneficial for the following step.
2. Words are your weapon, use them wisely. Words have the ability to heal wounds as well as create lifelong scars. When you write a hate letter you want to convey your hatred in every word. You must realize that some words cause paper cuts while others are machetes. Make them more profound and vivid. Don't tell him you're angry, tell him that you want to tear him on every segment of his body-odor infested body and have the parts masticated by a hungry alligator. 
3. Always stay in control. The wisest of warriors will tell you that control is how they win battles, and staying in control of what you’re writing is not only a way to make sure you get all your points across, but it also guarantees that your words won’t be used against you at a later time. Think about your words, and then listen to them from the perspective of the reader. Feel their emotion and make sure it is exactly what you wanted your words to convey.
4. Never write what you don’t mean. Writing a hate letter is akin to writing a love letter. That’s why if you don’t mean it, don’t say it. You and only you are accountable for your actions whether they be on paper, a computer screen, or a bathroom wall. So never write what you don’t mean, as it will almost always be used against you at a later time, and it’s hard to defend what you never truly believed to begin with.
5. Perform expectation management before you send Expect that your reader isn’t the only one that’s going to see it. Expect to ruffle some feathers. Expect that you’re going to get a response from the reader. Expect the hate to be returned in some way, shape or form. In short, make your hate letter as your first blow and always have back-up sarcasm and fiery words to hurl back once you're reader retaliates. 

Writing a hate letter will always make you feel better once it’s done. However, before sending it, make sure that the gladness you feel isn’t resolved completely by just getting the words down on paper.

IF WRITING THE LETTER MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, THEN YOU’RE NOT REQUIRED TO DELIVER IT.

However, you always have the right to choose between burning them after writing, or being really bitchy and send those to them. 

The Hate Model and Twitter Wars

Twitter has transformed itself from merely sharing mundane things to a platform for discussion. Issues regarding politics, economics, education, etc are often, and more often than not efficiently, discussed in social networking sites. However, as much as some people want social networking sites to be a stage for intellectual discourse, we can not avoid the chance that some people will hate a person specifically because of where the person stands and opines. 

In the past few days or weeks, I have been a witness to several Twitfolks being attacked by haters. The blogger Chuvaness (Cecile Van Sraten in real life; @jiritajackson in Twitter) was attacked by tweets from a woman based in Australia. The reason: Chuvaness is not buying the Piolo-KC relationship. Then we have Noemi Dado (aka @momblogger) and a certain @RAndRat were bombarded with hate tweets from the fans of Manny Pacquiao after the two inquired about the absence of the congressman in the Plenary Session. Twitter has been a vital medium to express their opinions and to clarify things, but what is disturbing (and in fact unavoidable) is that haters tend to resort to ad hominem attacks rather than keep their opinions in a logical manner.

So what interests me is how haters hate. So what I did is that I ran a search in Google and I bumped into this interesting article which tackles about The Seven-Stage Hate Model. Below is the summary of the Model: 

1. Haters gather- irrational haters do not hate alone. They hate because there are at least other people who hate irrationality. This reveals insecurity.

2. The Hate Group defines it self- "Hate groups, especially skinhead groups, usually incorporate some form of self-sacrifice, which allows haters to willingly jeopardize their well-being for the greater good of the cause"

3. The Hate Group disparages the target-  Haters think that they are better than the target. 

4. The Hate Group taunts the target- Time tends to tame the hate but this tendency often yields to introspection. To avoid this, haters need to fuel the hate further which explains their taunting. 

5. The Hate Group attacks the target without weapons- On this stage, the hate level grows in a increasing rate. The outlet for the hate for this stage is mostly concentrated verbally. With this, haters tend to separate themselves further from the society.

6. The Hate Group attacks the target with weapons- Violence is seen in this stage. Haters torture the target further and in turn backfires to them by separating themselves further from the society.

7. The Hate Group destroys the target- This is the ultimate goal of haters. However, as much as the hater destroyed the hated, the hater also suffers destruction physically or psychologically.

Twitter wars are less violent. More often than not, although we don't dispel the possibility, social network wars are not ending up in violence. The verbal nature of Twitter makes it easier to ignore haters but they tend to multiply themselves in forms of other people or fake accounts. What is irritating is that personal attacks are used as a weapon to destroy. At the end of the day, however, the one who knows what to say and says it in a socially acceptable manner stays. Haters usually ended up being blocked or reported as spam.

PS. Stop the hate. READ.