Going Back and the Evils Around

I have abandoned this site so a few months ago because I felt like a failure and, thus, started a new movie blog with a strict sense of order than this 4-movies-a week blogging. However, I am also a failure with that blog and found myself in the struggle between writing only the movie blogs following the format on my other blog and writing things about any movies I watched. So I decided to do both and write in this blog about any movies I watch while waiting to download the movies I am supposed to watch. (Damn internet connection: leeching its way that torrent downloads only get max download rate of about 9kbps). And here I am, getting back on this blog clean-slate and without any promises. Just writing for the sake of keeping my sanity intact amidst household chores and boredom.

Returning to my old ways of writing blog, I am coming back now to tackle the 2005 horror flick The Exorcism of Emily Rose. This film was first screened when I was in second year high school, but I first saw this in my senior year because of my friend, Oliver, keeps talking how scary this movie was. After too much hesitation, I rented out a copy and watched it bravely alone, in front of my desktop and just hearing the snores of my apneic father from the other room. After about 90 minutes of shock, I soon find myself sleeping with a Bible placed on my chest and wrapped around my arms. Yes, I was sooo scared that time that I easily sought the company of my church-mates and have me prayed over so I can get a good night sleep after almost a week walking to class like a walking zombie (Luckily Plants vs. Zombies is not yet around by that time or else I'll be having rotten tomatoes and eggplant bullets all over my uniform).

With Jennifer Carpenter portraying the lead role Emily, the main plot is set on a court room where a ambition-propelled lawyer Erin Bruner (Laura Linney) defends, although reluctantly at first, Father Richard Moore (Tom Wilkinson) who performed the exorcism rights and is now charged of negligence resulting to Emily's death. The whole trial changed the perspective of the seemingly religiously apathetic Bruner when she feels some supernatural presence at nights. Meanwhile Father Moore goes on the witness's stand to tell the story of Emily and of the demonic possession. It was revealed that Emily was possessed by 6 demons including Lucifer himself. Here is the clip of last exorcism of Emily Rose before she died.



I recently watched this movie for the third time last Halloween, 3AM the same time when Emily was last exorcised. I was watching it with my little brother and my cousins who are so scared that they can't sleep after the movies. I told them that the movie is actually based on the true story of Anneliese Michel and they started freaking out making my  brother pray every night before going to sleep.

The movie works darkly and you can sense the darkness creeping all over you when you watch this film. Three years have passed, and back then I was actively involved in church activities and right now I grew into someone like Erin Bruner, apathetic towards religion. Maybe because I know my evolution very well or I am annoyed with my grandfather's fanaticism towards Eliseo Soriano, but I just don't care with my religion anymore. However, I still have my faith in God and I know for a fact that He exists and so as the demons. The fear I felt when I first saw this movie, I think, is a proof already. We might believe in very different things and we could see Emily's story in different perspective, one thing is apparent though: Evil is always around lurking and trying to break our lives.

Religion and Me

Actually. I do not know how to classify my religious view so I will just classify myself as an agnostic leaning towards the positive perception towards God. I believe that there is God, I just know that there is, and that is my manifestation of my faith. The thing that I do not believe about is religion.

Religion, for me, is just a result of fanaticism. Yes, there are perks if you actually join one, for example, you get to have a company, meet new folks, develop together spiritually etc. But one thing that bothers me about religion is its ability to dictate, more often than not, subtly to its followers, thus, blinding them to personal analysis of a certain issue. I am not talking about the Catholic Church alone (I am baptised a Catholic btw), but any other religion out there. (To tell you something, I am horrified with Islam and I have the tendency to relate it to violence. Blame the media for that).

Many things affected me leading to my belief right now. On a large scale, take for example the meddling of the Church to a purely secular and political issue about legislating the RH Bill (Kudos to Carlos Celdran), claiming that it will be an issue of morality. Personally however, I am always bothered by the way my grandfather seemed to "worship" Brother Eli Soriano. When I attended a worship service of this Church, which I did as a favor to my lolo, this tele-evangelist claimed, with the "basis" from Paul, that the 10 Commandments were given by an angel not by God. for the record, I was scandaled when out of nowhere, Soriano asked to flash a series of "testimonials" claiming that they saw this annoying and ill-mouthed evangelist's head was illuminated by a unknown light source- implying that Soriano was sent by the heaven here. These things made me think if religion is actually necessary. As i viewed religion, the longer it stays the more it gets traditional and ceremonial-- making faith superficial, not a deep communication cord with God.

Currently, I am reading The God Delusion by the famous atheist Richard Dawkins. I got interested in this book because of a series of online conversation with my friend and some readings about the author. I am not yet finished with book (I have read 2 chapters now and mostly they deal about the falsity of agnosticism, the delusion of the existence of a supernatural intelligence), but I have doubts on whether I should finish the book or not. I always feel sad and burdened by reading every word of the book. Dawkins' arguments are well established and frankly logical in a scientific point of view. He can really be persuasive and while reading the book, there are moments that I seemed to doubt the actual existence of God. This book is shaking me yet I am afraid to let go of my faith. I always feel the tension between my curiosity to finish the book and the belief that there is someone there watching me reading TGD.

Religion is a very difficult matter to discuss, considering the high level of respect it receives from any society. In our country, being the only Catholic country in Asia, the Church has the control on our collective unconscious (Maybe this is a manifestation that we are not actually over with the oppressive control of the Spanish). However for me, I have to say that I do not belong to any religions or if I do have one, I have to call it a religion of my own. I just have to go directly to God if I have to confess, request, or want his Guidance without any intervention of a dictating third party. After all-- and ironically for I have learned this from my Theology professor-- I really could not comprehend the very nature of God because I am just human.