Sunday, September 25, 2011

On Being Religiously Deviant

After 3 years of barely seeing each other, me and my high school classmates reunited a few days ago. There were a lot of food and of course, a lot of booze and the next thing I knew, some of us were too drunk to go home.  During the time, we're waiting for being sober and for the sun to rise, we spent the time catching up and  we ended up discussing Shamcey Supsup's amswer during the Miss Universe Pageant.

Class Hottie and the other straight guy said they don't care (What do we expect?) My gay best friend and the two other girls were fanatically satisfied with her answer. Ex-Seminarian said he was pleased with her answer considering she reflects a God-centered life. It was supposed to be a "pampalipas oras" conversation until I opened my mouth and relayed my thoughts on her answer.

As someone who's not a biggie in beauty pageant, I told them that I find her answer okay considering the context of the pageant itself. On the other hand, I also told them that I am not satisfied with the answer on a personal level and said that if I were to answer the question, I won't imply any religious bias because I believe that even love could transcend beyond religious boundaries (Yes I am a sucker for true love like that. Blame Dumbledore), After like a minute of silence-- I think they were still tipsy to masticate my choice of words-- Ex Seminarian, in what seemed to be in protest, told me he was shocked and asked me if whether or not God is important in my life.

Photo courtesy of Science and Philosophy
So there I was again, in the spotlight where my belief system was in question. I bluntly revealed to them that I think I am a Deist and explained to them that I think there is a Supreme Cosmological Being somewhere up there but I think he is apathetic on his creation, letting the Laws of Nature to carry its natural process. (There were a lot of time spent enlightening their confused faces on the meaning of "apathy" and discussing the Deism concept, but let's not go into that). They were shocked in confusion on my revelation and they think that I am someone turning evil. Well, they didin't explicitly said that but it was painted all over their faces. The worse thing is that I see Ex-Seminarian's face reeking judgment and for a second I thought he was about to exorcise me right there and then.

My belief system is something I deem personal-- it was something that I wouldn't want to talk about during social events. Firstly, most of my friends, especially in HS, are Theists or at least were raised as such. This whole Deism thing is relatively new for me and I am just exploring the possibility that I might be one. With all these RH Bill advocacy and fighting for gay rights, I am in a stage where I am questioning the belief system imposed upon me while growing up. So as far as my HS classmates are now concerned, I am religiously deviant.

Honestly speaking, with my active online participation, being active on these advocacy, paying occasional visits in the Filipino Freethinkers FB page and all these conversation I had and am having with my friends, I don't care if my HS classmates judge me for what I believe in-- or judge me, at least on my way of answering Shamcey's question. Call me deviant but I don't really care. After all, what is important is that I know that I have an open mind, that I try to use reason to understand things and most of all, I don't judge as quickly as them. After all, I believe that to each his own (Although I think that such is a double-edged sword).

Friday, September 9, 2011

Libera is coming to Manila

I love Canon in D. I can play it in the piano (at least the first few arrangements) after patiently watching a tutorial in YouTube. There's something in its arrangement that soothes me from within. Maybe its about the chord progression that is mathematically harmonic with respect to the arrangement of each note, but I wouldn't know that-- I am no music theory expert. I was also amazed when I found out that most of the song, if not all, of the musical Les Miserables is practically based on Canon in D's chord progression. Suffice it is to say that Canon in D is my favorite classical piece.

As I liked Canon in D very much, I searched the internet for variations and other arrangements. It never failed to make my heart flutter. I also searched for an acapella version of the song (I'm a sucker for choir performance) and my search brought me to the version of the boys group Libera. Entitled Sanctus, this song incorporates a famous movement of the piece to its melody and I am awed by their performance. Their voices were divine- far beyond the word "angelic" could describe. Their voices are so thin and subtle that the very air they exhale might seem to be morphing to the tune- it's spontaneous. The whole song is like the perfect infusion of air and melody. The next thing I knew was that I repeatedly molested, harassed, and abused the replay button of the embedded video.

So I am glad to hear that Libera is coming here in the Philippines to stage a Christmas concert at the PICC. It's great to have theme here in our country. Of course, I would not be able to watch them and listen to their angelic version of our favorite carols (but definitely I would kill for a chance to watch them for free) but I am content in knowing that they will be performing here in the country.

If any of you who's interested, here are the details:
Libera: A Christmas Concert
October 25, 8PM- PICC Plenary Hall
October 28, 8PM- Waterfront Hotel, Cebu City
For ticketing inquiries please call TicketWorld @ (632) 891-9999
or visit

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Minding my shit and being late

I usually don't give a shit on my shit. It was just yesterday morning happened to be so random that I took a damn out of my dump. I woke up 11 A, and as usual, I went straight to the bathroom and sat there with all the glory of being half-sleepy while struggling to push the mess out of my body. I usually don't give a shit on my shit  but when I was about to flush the crap out, I saw droplets of oil floating on the surface of the toilet water. Either I shitted oil (or peed know how peeing precedes shitting right?) or Marielle  poured cooking oil on the toilet while she was playing before she went to school that morning-- I wouldn't know, I didn't bothered to ask. After all, that morning was so random.


2PM and it was freaking traffic. It's not supposed to be traffic at 2PM! So there I was, sitting inside a jampacked jeepney with my velvet long-sleeved BLACK top and it's freaking hot. It was not supposed to be hot, it was raining a few hours ago and it was overcast so I decided to wear what I was wearing. It's tremendously hot and it was traffic  and the driver stopped at every  corner so as to get another freaking passenger to sardine-up on our currently sardine-like status inside! When I arrived at M's house at around 3:30 PM, she went ahead already.

M said she'll meet me in a coffee shop in Katipunan, and guest what?!....uwian traffic! When I reached the coffee shop, M and R had already left.

I was left behind and there's an event in the Senate and it was about to start!

At the Purple Ribbon for RH Day Event, Senate.
With me is  Tita Beth Angsioco
Did I mention that I was wearing a pair of two-inch heel ankle boots? I was in a race against time so I ran to the train station. Yes, RAN... on heels... imagine  the difficulty? I didn't feel any pain while I was galloping my way through the platform, the ticketing station, the road etc. so that I could be at the event.  So I ran and ran and had myself squished in what I like to call the Train to Auschwitz (that's LRT Line 1 for you!) and there's this maarte girl beside me complaining , station after station, that she was being squished (HELLO?! Why take public transport?). I was all sweaty and smelly but then, I arrived at the venue and the program has just ended almost 30 minutes ago. Good thing is, R and M and G are still there (They were about to leave, lukily, nakahabol ako!).

Obviously, I was late. I am NEVER late. I blame the traffic.


Went home around 10 PM. G and I roamed around MOA until her shift started. R and M went to an event in Fort Bonifacio so forked our way. Then when I was about to sleep, my thighs and my legs hurt so bad that I can almost feel the lactic acid between my muscles and my skin. Guess it's time to pay the price for running on heels?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Julie and Julia and Lawrence and Wisdom Tooth

*This is my 100th post. Yey! I already have 100 not-so-great posts here in my on-and-off blog. 


Amidst this toothache that I am suffering for the past few days, I found myself a company with Julie and Julia.  I am a fan of Julie Powell. I started, of course, after watching the movie version of the book starring Amy Adams and Meryl Streep. Then after watching it, I planned to execute a project of watching the top 100 movies of the 1990's which of course I failed big time (Thanks to the sheer perfect combination of slow internet connection- for downloading torrents- and the simplicity of laziness). So now, a little over a year of knowing Julie and Julia Child, there I was, suffering from an annoying toothache while laughing my ass off from the wit and humor of Julie.

Julie is the simplicity of greatness. She is funny and her book is sooooo random. So I was shocked when I found out that Julia Child herself thinks the whole project was done only as a stunt- a show-off. I'm like "What the hell? Julie just made you famous, old hag." So now, let's all together spell BITCH.

Last Saturday, I was searching for the original Julie/Julia Project here in the net. I know that I have the link here in my blogroll but that didn't work this time. I was in an awful panic when I found out that it was shut down already. What the fuck?! Why would they shut it down? Why didn't they think of the fans like us who didn't have the time to enjoy Julie's writing way way back. I want to enjoy it right now and I demand that they put it back! (FUTILE).

Good thing though, that I found Lawrence ( . He's blogging about the movie and his stupid stunt is to watch the movie every day for 365 days. How stupid is that?! I can't even watch a movie more than three times!

But I love the movie, Amy Adams rocks (Amy as Julie is way so different from Amy as Giselle); Meryl Streeo is so funny every time she says, "Bon Apetit", so I promised Lawrence that I would read all of his posts and comment in each and everyone of them. I know it's a bit stalky but who cares, he's doing a stupid idea and I will spam him. (kidding).

So now, here I am writing this post feeling nothing but the annoying pain at the back of my mouth. Growing a wisdom tooth is the most stupid thing in the world. Good thing there's Julie and Julia and Lawrence.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

On being sick and growing a wisdom tooth: Maybe

This week, I was so sick partly because I drank last weekend and had allergic rhinitis during the next few days. I was fooled to believe that smoking the shisha (You know the arabic thing that you put some flavor and you inhale it?) won't affect me like cigarette does. So the next day, I found myself endlessly barking with cough and sneezing the sanity out of nose. ANNOYING-- that's how I describe the feeling allergic rhinitis compounded with phlegm-less cough.

Taking anti-histamines helped. It pacified my nose and luckily, I stopped coughing on Tuesday. The good news is I felt better. The bad news: It lasted for like I few hours.

So there I was, so bitin of the relief and lying in the bed under my blanket, sick with fever, head searing with pain and trying to entertain myself with Grey's Anatomy Season 7 marathon. The fever wasn't as annoying as the allergic rhinitis + cough combo, but it's WORSE when something at the back of my mouth started to pulse with pain. It turned out that I am about to have my wisdom tooth!


This year, there's a looming fear inside me. It's not the scary-fear type but it's a more subtle fear- the bothering type of fear. I am bothered by the fact that I turned 19 last June and I am turning 20 next year! Why am I bothered? I don't know but maybe because Edward Cullen get to stay 17 eternally, then freaking Bella 18 (or 19, I'm not sure) and I am going to be freaking 20 when  the suffix "teen" is nowhere to be found in 20!

To be clear, I am not afraid of growing old. I was never afraid of growing old. Growing old is the first thing I wished for so that I could run away from the miserable home that I had. So why this subtle fear? Why am I panicking in the middle of this circumcision-reminiscing pain pulsing at the back of my mouth?

Maybe because I'm still longing for my dream childhood that I never had (Futile, i know). Maybe because growing a year older means another year lost-- another price that I have to pay for fucking up big time. Or maybe because I am just lost and I do not have any idea of what future holds for me.

Maybe that's the answer. Or maybe I will just have to take this white pill in hopes that this annoying pain will be alleviated for the next 8 hours.