On Criticizing Both Sides: Am I salawahan?

With all these hoolabaloos on CGMA lately, I have been very active in voicing out my opinion. I have participated and initiated online conversations in FB and Twitter and I have to say that engaging online is a level field for all of us. What made me sad though is the way how I was called "salawahan" by some of our friends and say that my opinion is just a swayed parlance in order for me "to suck to the people who matters".

Let me address this allegation by clarifying my stand on these issues.

First, I am totally against the Secretary of Justice's act defying the Temporary Restraining Order issued by the Supreme Court. I reiterate that this is a desperate move by a panicking government afraid that their opponent is about to run the hell out of the country. It only showsthat the current administration is will to transgress the basic doctrine of Separation of Powers just to cover up their inadequacies.

Having been firm with the above-stated-- and please note that I do not try to play lawyer while opining as such-- I have to make it clear that my stand does not automatically make me pro-Arroyo. In a facebook group, I agree with the comment that Sec De Lima's action is now beyond Arroyo-- which brings me to my next point.

I have also been voicing my concern about Arroyo's lawyer playing doctor in the recent interviews. Claiming that because of the patient-doctor confidentiality, the doctors are forced to keep their mouth shut about the medical abstract of the former President. Due to this, we now see Lambino and Elena Bautista-Horn saying that CGMA is too sick to be in a detention facility but not too sick to be allowed for a house arrest. It is funny how they said those statements in just a span of a week. It made me suspicious about this miraculous turn of Cgma's condition from life-threatening to  ok-enough-to-be-out-of-hospital-arrest within just few days. And I did not fail to also voice out my opinion especially when Lambino, in effect, admitted that what they're saying about Gloria's condition are overheards from the conversation between the ex-President and her doctors.

I understand where the "salawahan" comment comes from especially that it is obvious that I criticized both sides but I was hurt with the allegation that my opinions are only being said because i want to suck up to somebody. I have to make it clear that all of my opinions are my own and however unqualified I am to make such opinion is not anyone's business. It is because I do not pretend to be an expert on any field. As I have understood, my opinions are protected by the Constitution and should be respected. After all, I have never disrespected my attackers' opinion.

One thing I have learned from my dear friend Tita Beth Angsioco is that we should evaluate political figures by issue and not by hasty generalizations. I always keep this in mind and I hope by writing this post, you may understand where I am coming from. Also, I would want to clarify that I blog on my own accord and I am neither paid nor do this to please anybody. I blog because, simply, I can-- and nothing more

SC vs DOJ: This is more than the Arroyo's

With all these PNOY vs GMA and SC vs DOJ thing happening on the news, I have been very active in online discussions. Maybe I owe this blog some content so I am posting my comment  from the Filipino Freethinkers Facebook Page.




posted by Marc Losoa:
SC vs DOJ, who was right? Was SC ruling on TRO justified and that the DOJ blocking Arroyos were illegitimate or was it not? Discuss.


my comment:


Okay here's my two cents here. Let's assume that GMA wants to run away from the country and leave for good.

Had the government done their job in filing the case and bringing it to the court immediately, all these hullabaloos will not be happening. What PNOY and his minions did is that they spend so much time appearing in the television in hopes that the people might perceive them working when actually they did not. What we witnessed the past few days is PANIC. Panic because they were outwitted by the Arroyo's.

Arroyo has the finest in her battery of lawyers, PR people etc. They know what they are doing and they know how to make lusot by using technicalities. On the other hand, we have a government of grandstanders acting out like they are in the Pinoy Big Brother House. We have grandstanders in the House of the Representatives and Ping Lacson in the Senate. Further, the communications group are making things worse!

This is not about Arroyo anymore-- this is about how the government wiling to transgress the power of the Judiciary just to cover up its inadequacies.


***


As a non-lawyer, I can only say something based on my limited understanding of the Constitution. As I understand it,  when Supreme Court says something, it must have been done as they dictate how a law should be interpreted. What the Secretary of Justice did is an obvious transgression of the principle of Separation of Powers. The Constitution says-- I just don't know what specific provision it is-- that in such cases, the DOJ's hold departure order will be deemed null and void and the SC's TRO will prevail.

With all the testicle-betting and the I'll-have-my-head-chopped-off happening now between the two camps, a Constitutional Crisis might come in (or has it happening right now?). The only question right now is, What kind of government we have?

DSWD spin fail: CCT is dole out--no more, no less

This refers to Ms. Ana Marie Daep's letter entitled "DSWD's CFW not CCT; it's investment not dole out" (Inquirer, 10/22/2011).

I was disturbed by the fact that DSWD seemed to be annoyed by how CCT is being branded as "dole-out". Ms Daep, OIC of the Social Marketing Service of DSWD, said, "..CCT is not a dole out but a form of investment in human capital...". Well to tell them frankly, the letter was a big sugar-coating fail because CCT is definitely not a "form of investment ek-ek". CCT is a dole out simply because you give the money directly to the beneficiaries, hoping that they will spend it by buying their basic needs all the while knowing that they won't do it anyway. 

The letter appeared as an effort to euphemize the bitter pill that they can't obviously take. Certainly, their definition of the CCT is failing them as their beneficiaries remain jobless and poverty-stricken. A few thousand pesos given monthly can hardly pass as "investment" considering the current state of our nation. Further, we hear news of ATM cards being pawned, the money being used in gambling, vices and not for their basic needs, etc. So where does the term "investment" apply in those situations?

DSWD should call a spade a spade and realize that CCT is a dole-out-- nothing more, nothing less. The DSWD is is just doing a stunt no different than what Wille Revillame does in his show. Funny how the DSWD tries to put a positive spin to it just because they themselves are under the illusion of CCT's grandeur. Again, CCT is a dole out because, as cliched as it is, it does not teach the poor how fishing is done: DSWD is just giving them the fish-- and the fish, still, is not sufficient enough. 

Learning About Manila's History with Carlos Celdran

Entrance to Fort Santiago

After the job interviews I had early last Tuesday (yes, I had figured out my messed up biological clock), Carlos Celdran opened up ten slots for barter trade for his Intramuros tour. Since he's okay for anything, I just brought him kakanin's from Marilao, Bulacan. You have to understand, I have to grab that opportunity  because given my current financial state, I could never afford  the tour. So there I was, 3PM, Tuesday, at the middle of a quite diverse group with two cute American guys beside me (who happened to be me Kalesa-mates), embarking on a journey within the walls of Intramuros.

One thing is evident, Carlos is not the same as any other tour guides. He is not the usual hey-look-at-that tour guide. He is very dynamic and theatrical as he uses the whole Intramuros as his stage. Armed with his rich inside knowledge on Philippine History, his witty sesnse of humor and a couple of santan flowers serving as confetti, we laughed the whole way while learning from the past.

The thing that moved me the most during the tour is about the post-war Manila part. We were in front of the ruins of San Ignacio Church beside what used to be Ateneo Municipal and he asked all of us to take a minute of silence for the 100 thousand lives lost during the Manila Massacre and the Manila Bombing. 100 thousand lives! I didn't have the idea about that! All I knew was Manila was devastated after the war but what I didn't know is that it was the second most destroyed city during the war-- after Warsaw-- and we lost 100 thousand civilians!

Realizing this, I reflected how my current knowledge about our history is actually deficient. I know something about our history but I realized that I do not know enough. Coming from a public high school whose only history came from the distant HS freshman past, we do not have enough time to tackle this part of the history. Extending this thought, there again is the infamous problem on our education system-- and I don't want to go into that.

The Overly Decorated Jeepney. Carlos describes how Filipinos
tends to overly decorate.

There is so much to learn on the two and a half hour-trip. We learned that our "unoriginal" culture makes us exquisitely unique. We also realized that our culture can be summarized by the idea of the jeepney: That we have the tendency to be excessively and superfluously dramatic. You can look at it either in the good and the bad way but the best thing Carlos did is that he let us realized both perspectives. The Filipino culture is such a mixture of all these influences, victimized by its colonizers but then again living the best of both the West and the Orient. Like the jeepney, Carlos showed us another microcosm of our culture: The Halo-halo-- and we ended our tour crushing ice atop of this all-time favorite.

The Halo-halo. Like Halo-halo, the Filipino culture is a mix of influences. 

Resorts World Manila presents The Sound of Music

I can't deny the fact that the reason why I am such a theater junkie is because of watching The Sound of Music when I was 6 yrs old. Yes, there is such a thing as infantile amnesia but the memory is still vivid: It was a typical weekend movie night, my Tita Lanie rented the videotape and Tita Liezl was making her own dip made of fresh mayonnaise and a party of mixed onion, garlic and chives (No one could replicate that!).Because of that, here I am right now, finding myself on the floor pretending to die while reenacting's Eponine's death to the tune of A Little Fall of Rain, dancing the choreography of You Can't Stop the Beat, and of course, watching the episodes of Glee again and again.

So it was a rather boring night and I was tweeting how much would I kill to find something that will salvage me from the excruciating boredom. Then the next thing I knew, MomBlogger sent me a DM telling me that she still has tickets for a special private viewing of Resort's World Manila's The Sound of Music. Now you can imagine how exhilarated I was. You see I was almost dying of boredom and there comes Ms Noemi saving my sanity for allowing me to watch SoM live for the first time. Yes, that was the first time I watched the classic musical for the first time.

You've got to love The Sound of Music @ Resorts World Manila. With its amazing cast (Cris Villonco as Maria, Audie Gemora as Captain Von Trapp) , the play brought me back to that exact night 13 years ago. The songs were reminiscent of my childhood and I found myself mouthing every songs. It's funny that I became teary at some point of the play. Maybe because I was seeing it for the first time or maybe because I remembered how Tita Lanie and I were cuddled the night 13 years ago, but one thing is sure: My heart was in great happiness.

My viewing experience would be better though is we were seated nearer. It turned out that Ms Noemi has an awful eyes as mine so all of the faces were blurred (Ms Noemi advises audience to either seat near or bring binoculars). Funny because although they were are blurred to me, I can't help but to be distracted with Maria's wig. She was wearing something like a bleached-lola Dora the Explorer hair. However, you can let that and the pseudo-Scottish accent pass because the nun choir was so chilling and the LED backdrop (the biggest in Southeast Asia) was an astounder.

The Sound of Music opened October 15 and runs for the whole month of October. For ticket reservation call TicketWorld at 811-9999 or Resorts World Manila Tourist/Visitor Hotline at 836-63333, 908-8833. Indeed, SoM is a must watch and it is something one can't just let pass.

(photos courtesy of MomBlogger)

On Being Religiously Deviant

After 3 years of barely seeing each other, me and my high school classmates reunited a few days ago. There were a lot of food and of course, a lot of booze and the next thing I knew, some of us were too drunk to go home.  During the time, we're waiting for being sober and for the sun to rise, we spent the time catching up and  we ended up discussing Shamcey Supsup's amswer during the Miss Universe Pageant.

Class Hottie and the other straight guy said they don't care (What do we expect?) My gay best friend and the two other girls were fanatically satisfied with her answer. Ex-Seminarian said he was pleased with her answer considering she reflects a God-centered life. It was supposed to be a "pampalipas oras" conversation until I opened my mouth and relayed my thoughts on her answer.

As someone who's not a biggie in beauty pageant, I told them that I find her answer okay considering the context of the pageant itself. On the other hand, I also told them that I am not satisfied with the answer on a personal level and said that if I were to answer the question, I won't imply any religious bias because I believe that even love could transcend beyond religious boundaries (Yes I am a sucker for true love like that. Blame Dumbledore), After like a minute of silence-- I think they were still tipsy to masticate my choice of words-- Ex Seminarian, in what seemed to be in protest, told me he was shocked and asked me if whether or not God is important in my life.

Photo courtesy of Science and Philosophy

So there I was again, in the spotlight where my belief system was in question. I bluntly revealed to them that I think I am a Deist and explained to them that I think there is a Supreme Cosmological Being somewhere up there but I think he is apathetic on his creation, letting the Laws of Nature to carry its natural process. (There were a lot of time spent enlightening their confused faces on the meaning of "apathy" and discussing the Deism concept, but let's not go into that). They were shocked in confusion on my revelation and they think that I am someone turning evil. Well, they didin't explicitly said that but it was painted all over their faces. The worse thing is that I see Ex-Seminarian's face reeking judgment and for a second I thought he was about to exorcise me right there and then.

My belief system is something I deem personal-- it was something that I wouldn't want to talk about during social events. Firstly, most of my friends, especially in HS, are Theists or at least were raised as such. This whole Deism thing is relatively new for me and I am just exploring the possibility that I might be one. With all these RH Bill advocacy and fighting for gay rights, I am in a stage where I am questioning the belief system imposed upon me while growing up. So as far as my HS classmates are now concerned, I am religiously deviant.

Honestly speaking, with my active online participation, being active on these advocacy, paying occasional visits in the Filipino Freethinkers FB page and all these conversation I had and am having with my friends, I don't care if my HS classmates judge me for what I believe in-- or judge me, at least on my way of answering Shamcey's question. Call me deviant but I don't really care. After all, what is important is that I know that I have an open mind, that I try to use reason to understand things and most of all, I don't judge as quickly as them. After all, I believe that to each his own (Although I think that such is a double-edged sword).

Libera is coming to Manila

I love Canon in D. I can play it in the piano (at least the first few arrangements) after patiently watching a tutorial in YouTube. There's something in its arrangement that soothes me from within. Maybe its about the chord progression that is mathematically harmonic with respect to the arrangement of each note, but I wouldn't know that-- I am no music theory expert. I was also amazed when I found out that most of the song, if not all, of the musical Les Miserables is practically based on Canon in D's chord progression. Suffice it is to say that Canon in D is my favorite classical piece.

As I liked Canon in D very much, I searched the internet for variations and other arrangements. It never failed to make my heart flutter. I also searched for an acapella version of the song (I'm a sucker for choir performance) and my search brought me to the version of the boys group Libera. Entitled Sanctus, this song incorporates a famous movement of the piece to its melody and I am awed by their performance. Their voices were divine- far beyond the word "angelic" could describe. Their voices are so thin and subtle that the very air they exhale might seem to be morphing to the tune- it's spontaneous. The whole song is like the perfect infusion of air and melody. The next thing I knew was that I repeatedly molested, harassed, and abused the replay button of the embedded video.

So I am glad to hear that Libera is coming here in the Philippines to stage a Christmas concert at the PICC. It's great to have theme here in our country. Of course, I would not be able to watch them and listen to their angelic version of our favorite carols (but definitely I would kill for a chance to watch them for free) but I am content in knowing that they will be performing here in the country.

If any of you who's interested, here are the details:

Libera: A Christmas Concert
October 25, 8PM- PICC Plenary Hall
October 28, 8PM- Waterfront Hotel, Cebu City
For ticketing inquiries please call TicketWorld @ (632) 891-9999
or visit www.ticketworld.com.ph

Minding my shit and being late

I usually don't give a shit on my shit. It was just yesterday morning happened to be so random that I took a damn out of my dump. I woke up 11 A, and as usual, I went straight to the bathroom and sat there with all the glory of being half-sleepy while struggling to push the mess out of my body. I usually don't give a shit on my shit  but when I was about to flush the crap out, I saw droplets of oil floating on the surface of the toilet water. Either I shitted oil (or peed oil....you know how peeing precedes shitting right?) or Marielle  poured cooking oil on the toilet while she was playing before she went to school that morning-- I wouldn't know, I didn't bothered to ask. After all, that morning was so random.

***

2PM and it was freaking traffic. It's not supposed to be traffic at 2PM! So there I was, sitting inside a jampacked jeepney with my velvet long-sleeved BLACK top and it's freaking hot. It was not supposed to be hot, it was raining a few hours ago and it was overcast so I decided to wear what I was wearing. It's tremendously hot and it was traffic  and the driver stopped at every  corner so as to get another freaking passenger to sardine-up on our currently sardine-like status inside! When I arrived at M's house at around 3:30 PM, she went ahead already.

M said she'll meet me in a coffee shop in Katipunan, and guest what?!....uwian traffic! When I reached the coffee shop, M and R had already left.

I was left behind and there's an event in the Senate and it was about to start!

At the Purple Ribbon for RH Day Event, Senate.
With me is  Tita Beth Angsioco

Did I mention that I was wearing a pair of two-inch heel ankle boots? I was in a race against time so I ran to the train station. Yes, RAN... on heels... imagine  the difficulty? I didn't feel any pain while I was galloping my way through the platform, the ticketing station, the road etc. so that I could be at the event.  So I ran and ran and had myself squished in what I like to call the Train to Auschwitz (that's LRT Line 1 for you!) and there's this maarte girl beside me complaining , station after station, that she was being squished (HELLO?! Why take public transport?). I was all sweaty and smelly but then, I arrived at the venue and the program has just ended almost 30 minutes ago. Good thing is, R and M and G are still there (They were about to leave, lukily, nakahabol ako!).

Obviously, I was late. I am NEVER late. I blame the traffic.

***

Went home around 10 PM. G and I roamed around MOA until her shift started. R and M went to an event in Fort Bonifacio so forked our way. Then when I was about to sleep, my thighs and my legs hurt so bad that I can almost feel the lactic acid between my muscles and my skin. Guess it's time to pay the price for running on heels?

Julie and Julia and Lawrence and Wisdom Tooth

*This is my 100th post. Yey! I already have 100 not-so-great posts here in my on-and-off blog. 

***

Amidst this toothache that I am suffering for the past few days, I found myself a company with Julie and Julia.  I am a fan of Julie Powell. I started, of course, after watching the movie version of the book starring Amy Adams and Meryl Streep. Then after watching it, I planned to execute a project of watching the top 100 movies of the 1990's which of course I failed big time (Thanks to the sheer perfect combination of slow internet connection- for downloading torrents- and the simplicity of laziness). So now, a little over a year of knowing Julie and Julia Child, there I was, suffering from an annoying toothache while laughing my ass off from the wit and humor of Julie.

Julie is the simplicity of greatness. She is funny and her book is sooooo random. So I was shocked when I found out that Julia Child herself thinks the whole project was done only as a stunt- a show-off. I'm like "What the hell? Julie just made you famous, old hag." So now, let's all together spell BITCH.
 ***

Last Saturday, I was searching for the original Julie/Julia Project here in the net. I know that I have the link here in my blogroll but that didn't work this time. I was in an awful panic when I found out that it was shut down already. What the fuck?! Why would they shut it down? Why didn't they think of the fans like us who didn't have the time to enjoy Julie's writing way way back. I want to enjoy it right now and I demand that they put it back! (FUTILE).

Good thing though, that I found Lawrence (http://lawrenceandjulieandjulia.blogspot.com) . He's blogging about the movie and his stupid stunt is to watch the movie every day for 365 days. How stupid is that?! I can't even watch a movie more than three times!

But I love the movie, Amy Adams rocks (Amy as Julie is way so different from Amy as Giselle); Meryl Streeo is so funny every time she says, "Bon Apetit", so I promised Lawrence that I would read all of his posts and comment in each and everyone of them. I know it's a bit stalky but who cares, he's doing a stupid idea and I will spam him. (kidding).

So now, here I am writing this post feeling nothing but the annoying pain at the back of my mouth. Growing a wisdom tooth is the most stupid thing in the world. Good thing there's Julie and Julia and Lawrence.

On being sick and growing a wisdom tooth: Maybe

This week, I was so sick partly because I drank last weekend and had allergic rhinitis during the next few days. I was fooled to believe that smoking the shisha (You know the arabic thing that you put some flavor and you inhale it?) won't affect me like cigarette does. So the next day, I found myself endlessly barking with cough and sneezing the sanity out of nose. ANNOYING-- that's how I describe the feeling allergic rhinitis compounded with phlegm-less cough.

Taking anti-histamines helped. It pacified my nose and luckily, I stopped coughing on Tuesday. The good news is I felt better. The bad news: It lasted for like I few hours.

So there I was, so bitin of the relief and lying in the bed under my blanket, sick with fever, head searing with pain and trying to entertain myself with Grey's Anatomy Season 7 marathon. The fever wasn't as annoying as the allergic rhinitis + cough combo, but it's WORSE when something at the back of my mouth started to pulse with pain. It turned out that I am about to have my wisdom tooth!

Yes! A wisdom tooth. A WISDOM-FREAKING-TOOTH! AND I AM FREAKING 19! PANIIIIIIIC!!!!!

***
This year, there's a looming fear inside me. It's not the scary-fear type but it's a more subtle fear- the bothering type of fear. I am bothered by the fact that I turned 19 last June and I am turning 20 next year! Why am I bothered? I don't know but maybe because Edward Cullen get to stay 17 eternally, then freaking Bella 18 (or 19, I'm not sure) and I am going to be freaking 20 when  the suffix "teen" is nowhere to be found in 20!

To be clear, I am not afraid of growing old. I was never afraid of growing old. Growing old is the first thing I wished for so that I could run away from the miserable home that I had. So why this subtle fear? Why am I panicking in the middle of this circumcision-reminiscing pain pulsing at the back of my mouth?

Maybe because I'm still longing for my dream childhood that I never had (Futile, i know). Maybe because growing a year older means another year lost-- another price that I have to pay for fucking up big time. Or maybe because I am just lost and I do not have any idea of what future holds for me.

Maybe that's the answer. Or maybe I will just have to take this white pill in hopes that this annoying pain will be alleviated for the next 8 hours.

Love Letters

One of the interesting thing renovating an old house is that you find very curious things. Having been living in a house that is currently being cleaned for a possible renovation, I found several cool things. Last week, I found a copy of Imelda Marcos's book entitled The New Human Order; the week before, I found several pictures of my great grandparents; but today, I found an anthology of love letters stacked on the old bookcase that we're going to move, possibly, by tomorrow.

Entitled Love Letters Will Never Die: With Love and Sex (Oh diba, title pa lang?!), I find the letters corny yet funny at the same time. I find it corny because the words are so profound and descriptive, but nevertheless, I can sense the sincerity in every letter. I would like to share you one:

***

Dearest Belinda,

How cruel you are! How you torture me with your silence! How you torment me with your indifference! As if I had committed the biggest sin possible, when only love prompted me to pen you such loving declarations!

My nights are sleepless! My days are no less so, they are spent under a restless spirit. My thoughts are troubled with something I could not define. I enjoy no peace. Not a single minute of the day brings me contentment, even a shade only if possible. All because you are cold and silent as the grave.

I... dearest-- have built around your name a legend of tender adoration. About you I have woven dreams that have for its ultimate end, only glory for you and happiness for two souls beating to a melody called love.

How tenderly I write to you these lines, dedicated in the name of love and invoked with the blessing of Cupid. How lingeringly I murmur your name as I write these loving lines to you. Can't you realize this deep adoration of mine? Can't you see that this sincere love for you is purely dedicated to you and you alone?

I see you and the more I envision your loveliness, not to mention your feminine virtues, the more I treasure the memory that is yours. I cherish the day's memories of you. I guard them zealously,-- as I love life itself. In my heart, there is a shrine built for you. I remember everything, so that when I am alone to commune with my own musings, with my own thoughts, I reflect on your goodness of the day, remember all this day's memories, so that when I have my own solitude for myself, with only the night wind moaning by my window sill, or a ray of moonlight filtering its way thru my room, I recall all the sweetness of you. And as I say my prayers for the night, I thought to embody the sweetness of you in a dream, so beautiful that I only desire to sleep on with this beautiful dream, so beautiful that I only desire to sleep on with this beautiful dream of you forever --  if only possible. Can't you see how this love of mine has inspired me so?

So, why keep torturing me, I . . .? Why be contented with me suffering in these throes of love? Let me hear you say that hope is within reach, and I will consider myself the happiest of all mortals.

Yet as I lay down to sleep, I breathe the word hope and whisper it only to the wind. I hope and I wait.

                                                                                                              Hopingly yours,
                                                                                                                     David
***
In our age of microblogging, how refreshing it is to read letters. I mean, with how messages our passed so swiftly in the seemingly frictionless world of social media, I appreciate the process full of sincere efforts in writing a love letter. Indeed, love letters will never die as it is immortalized by its own sincerity.

So right now, i decided to share a letter from this booklet each day. I do hope that you can appreciate them as I do.

PS: I am bored.

Untitled blabber

There are a lot of recent events that happened to my life these past few weeks: moved out of the house, lived in with boyfriend, took a leave at school, moved out of bf's house and now I am here, writing this post using my friend's laptop and trying to vent everything out of system. However I am uncertain of what's life to offer me tomorrow, the next few days, weeks or months, I just want to say thank you to my friends who rescued me  from falling face flat again. Kaya ko to!

Sorry but this post will be liberal-- free. What comes to my mind will just appear here in the post.

First, I am happy on where blogging brought me. I was just commenting on the Para Kay Janjan Facebook page on how disgusted I was with Willie Revillame, and now, I am here attending meetings after meetings and being active with the advocacy so close to my heart and meeting all these people. I also got the chance to write for BlogWatch. I am also copywriting articles so I get to earn my keep (I have no choice, I have to move out of that crappy situation). I am doing a lot of things now, and I like it, I don't complain. It makes me busy and distracted.

I need to be distracted because I am afraid of the silence. The silence conjures the ghosts of the recent past-- the very ghosts of the crappy things which lead me to where I am right now. It is also in that silence when the voice of my father resonates in me. That voice terrifies me and reduces me to self-pity. I can't even talk back to that voice even though the urge in me is already near-exploding. I don't know, maybe it's for the sake of respecting one's parent or maybe my strength to even respect myself in front of him was snatched away from me. The same time that the voice keeps playing, my thoughts are flooded with images of the people who think I'm not worth any of their attention. I just hate the silence. The silence can easily take my sanity away.

So here I am again, writing this post trying to vent out. Maybe this will not ease everything. i wanted to scream though, I just don't know where to do that foolish act. I just wanted to cry but I can't seem to cry it all out. I wanted to shake it all off but it seems that I can't even to that. therefore, I just really need to be distracted.

Brigada Eskwela

I apologize for not having been posting to this blog because I have been so busy these past few weeks. I had a short stint as a call center agent, then I'm writing for BlogWatch.tv and I'm active with Para sa mga Bata Advocacy. So please forgive me if I have not been posting, that is assuming that there are avid readers of this blog.

This week, I volunteered for Brigada Eskwela 2011 on my high school. I love how the sense of Bayanihan is being recreated on this kind of project especially when providing a better learning environment for our public school students is very much needed. So yeah, along with teachers, students, and local officials, I helped on painting the classrooms, fixing the chairs etc.

Although I enjoyed and appreciated the joint efforts of different stakeholders, the need for raw materials such as plywoods, nails, and new chairs are very much needed. I really think that what we are doing is superficial because we are painting over "bulok" walls, termite-infested chairs and rusted grills. It would be better if there will be donations for these raw materials.

Helping out is always fun. Volunteerism conjures a sense of self fulfillment. If we are going to help with giving our students a conducive learning environment, we can ease out our diseased educational system .

Here are some  pictures from the Brigada Eskwela:

PS; Our school, Pulong Buhangin High School was the National Champion in the Brigada Eskwela 2005, and  a recent awardee for Brigada Eskwela 2010. 

Transcript of Suan Family Guesting in Willing Willie March 28

***Second Gap***

WR: Magandang gabi sa inyong lahat, kamusta kayo? Okay, yan, ano ba ngayon? Monday? Hi , tita Cristy. Palakpakan natin, Ms. Cristy Fermin. Mr Erwin Tulfo, gwapo oh! Aksyon! Palakpakan niya!! May paninindigan.

Lunes ngayon March 28, may ipapalabas kami ngayon, kung naalala niyo ho. Kung wala kayong YouTube o Twitter,  hindi niyo alam yung mga nangyayari. Ako'y nagulat lang din ho kahapon, 400 thousand hits ibig sabihin po niyon, ganon na ho karami ang nanood Willing Willie dun po sa YouTube o sa Twitter. Yun po yung guest naming bata, yung six year old [To the camera man: Huwag niyo munang kunan.] na si Janjan. Eto ho ang nangyari noon. Ako nanaman ho'y binabatikos, ayaw akong tigilan. Panoorin po natin ito. Ito po yun.

-shows March 12 episode with Janjan-

WR: Actually ho, alam niyo, marami hong reklamo sa programa, sa TV5 at siyempre po sa akin na na abusado daw yung bata-- na abuse daw namin-- pinaglaruan, pinagtawanan.

Una ho sa lahat, hindi ko  po alam na ganun ang kanyang talent. Nalalaman ko na lang ho yan, dito na ho. Tinatanong ko, "Anong talent mo? Singing or dance?". Akala ko nga ho kakanta di ba?

Ngayon ho, marami nanamang bumabatikos sa akin: sa YouTube, sa Twitter. Na disrespectful sa bata, child abuse, kung anu-ano na naman ho ang sinasabi sa akin at sa programa, sa TV5. Well, ganun talaga, gumawa ka ng mabuti, gumawa ka ng masama sa paningin ng tao lagi kang masama. Hindi nila nakikita yung ginawa mong kabutihan. Yung isang pagkakamali mo-- hindi nga pagkakamali, di ba?. Yan ho ang tingin sa yo.

Anyway, so minabuti namin, kinausap ko yung mga tao dito na gusto kong makausap yung pamilya. Yung tatay, yung nanay at yung buong pamilya na ang magsalita. Ang katotohanan nga po niyan, ang kantang gagamit diyan ay yung "Careless Whisper", and it's a good thing yung staff namin [is] very sensitive na hindi masyadong maganda sa bata dahil masyadong popular sa video yun. So pinalitan namin yun. Eh eto ang gusto ng bata pala, yun po ang request eh. Sa audition pa lang.

Eto nga ho, ipapatawag ho kami kung saan saan. Meron nang reklamo sa DSWD, Human Rights, gusto pa akong ipatawag sa Senado. Diyos ko naman! Ang daming problema ng bansa. Ang dami nating problema: Tulad ng yung bibitayin. Yung mga corrupt. Tapos eto na maliit na bagay binastos namin yung bata, binastos namin dito. Wala pong ganun at hindi po namin iyan gagawin dito. Dahil ang mga batang iyan, yang mga batang iyan… Gusto ko lamang tawagin ang mga magulang ng bata.

-calls the Suan's from the audience-

Eto po ang kanyang tatay, eto po ang nanay, may tatlo po silang anak. [To Jojo] Eh hindi ko po alam kung ano, magpakilala ka muna.

Jojo Estrada [ JE]: Ako po si Jojo Estrada, taga-proj 6, ako po ang tatay ni Janjan .

Diana Suan(DS): Ako naman po ang nanay ni Janjan na si Diana, taga project 6 po.

WR: Kasi nagkausap tayo kanina, tinanong ko sa kanila sino ang nagturo sa kanya ng sayaw na yun, panong nangyari na guanun ang sayaw. Eh ilang taon pa pala si Janjan ganun na pala ang sinasayaw niya?

DS: Three years old pa lang po siya sumasayaw na po siya.

WR: Anong sayaw niya?

DS: Careless Whisper po.

(WR laughs)

WR: Yung sayaw ni Janjan, yung tugtog ng Careless Whisper. Yun din ang mga sinasayaw niya. Actually, sa mga program ba?

JE: Sa school Kuya Wil, nadiscover siya. Nag little SM din siya 2009, yan din ang kanyang talent. Lahat ng tao nagsisigawan sa kanya.

WR: Anong sinayaw niya?

JE: Careless Whisper ang sinayaw niya.Kayanung narinig ko dito na nagpapaaudition kayo ng 6 to 11 years old, hindi ako nag-atubili na iaudition ko yung anak ko. Kagustuhan rin naman po iyon ni Janjan. Sabi niya, "Papa gusto ko pumunta doon at magpa-audition ako." Biro mo 3000 ata mahigit sila napalad na nakuha siya, pang-apat siyang nakuha doon.

WR: Ngayon, alam niyo na ang nangyayari ngayoon. Tinawagandaw sila ng GMA News, kung ano-ano, tinatanong na, "Alam nyo ba…." na….. Anong sinabi sa yo?

JE: Tinawagan ako kanina. Ang dami. Sabi, "Alam niyo ba yang ginagawa ninyosa anak ninyo? Bakit ganyan ganyan?" Ang sabi ko eh kagustuhan ng anak ko iyon. Siyempre gusto ng anak kong sumikat, gusto niyang mag-artista kaya yun ang ginawa niya para maiba siya at mapansin siya ng ibang tao [audience claps]. Sabi ko sinoportahan ko lang naman yung anak ko eh yun ang kagustuhan niya. Gusto nga niyang sumayaw eh.

**Janjan cries at the moment he heard "Gusto nga niyang sumayaw eh"**

WR: Hindi mamaya na. Okay lang yan naiiyak siya (JE interjects, "Ganyan talaga yan eh."

WR: Alam niyo ba kung bakit siya umiyak? Ano ngang kwento niya?

JE: Ang sabi niya nung pagdating niya nung galing dito ang sabi niya, "Papa naiyak ako kasi nakita ko yung parang kapre, yung matangkad, yung si Balingit." [WR, audience laughing] Sabi niya.

WR: Natakot daw kay Balingit, kaya siya umiyak. Tapos kaya naman ho namin pinaulit-ulit yung sayaw ng bata kasi gustung-gusto ng bata na sumayaw. Eto po si Janjan, wag ka ng umiyak.

**Janjan still crying. JE says, "Gusto ho niyang sumayaw kaya ho nag-gagaganyan iyan (crying)". **

JE: Kuya sasayaw yan si Janjan, gusto niyang sumayaw.

WR: Sandali sandali may problema pa tayo. Sandali. Tulad niyan yung DSWD, tumawag na dito sa TV5, sumulat na kay Mr. MVP. Tapos may mga ibang ano na na ang tingin inabuso natin yung anak mo. Inabuso namin, na ginawa kong katawa-tawa. Kayo ang magulang, kaya kayo ang dapat na magsalita tungkol doon kasi bago naman ho mag-audition iyan eh sa approval naman ho ng mga magulang. So meron ba kayong gustong sabihin?

JE: Ang masasabi ko lang doon sa mga naninira, lalo na doon sa YouTube, tigilan na nila kasi hindi rin naman kagustuhan ng mga magulang iyon…kagustuhan ng anak ko iyon na magpakita ng talent. Tsaka sa DSWD, hindi kasalanan ng anak ko na maging ganun, kasi yun ang pagka-alam niya na maganda ang ginagawa niya. Kagustuhan iyan ng anak ko, hindi naman iyan kagustuhan…At saka marami sa YouTube na nagsasabi na magaling yang anak mo. Tsaka yung mga pinsan ko sa Amerika nagttext sa akin. Walang may nagsabi sa ginawa ng anak ko na hindi maganda ang ginawa ng anak ko. Puro lahat nagsabi na ang galing ng anak mo. [audience claps] Kahit yung sa kapit-bahay namin yung computeran, hindi na siya sinisingil ng bayad. Tuwang tuwa kay Janjan. Hindi na siya sinisingil. Everyday na siya doon nagiinternet , nagcocomputer [audience laughs] Wala na siyang bayad.

WR: Tapos ano pa ang mga nabago? Kasi ilang araw lang yan.

JE: Tapos nung pumunta siya sa Quiapo ang daming nagpapacture sa kanya. Sa jeep. Ang daming nakakaalala sa kanya, "Ang galing galing mo Janjan sayaw ka nga". Lahat talaga maraming nag-ano sa kanya.

WR: Sino ang nagturo sa kanya ng sayaw na iyon?

JE; Ayun ang salarin, yung pamangkin ko? [points to the pamangkin in the audience] Ayun si Argie

WR: Siya yung nagturo ng sayaw. [camera shifts to Argie in audience]. Bigyan mo ng mic. Argie, ikaw ba ang nagturo non?

Argie (A): Opo

WE: Bakit iyon ang tinuro mong sayaw?

A:  Gusto niya po eh.

WR: Gusto mo ba yung sayaw na yun Janjan?Ikaw ba ang may gusto niyon?

Janjan: [nods] Opo. [JE suggests to Janjan]

WR:  Bakit ka umiiyak nun nung sumasayaw ka?

JJ: [teary eyed] Kasi natakot ako kay Balingit.

[WR, audience laugh]

WR: Kaya pala. Okay. Alright. So yung sayaw mong yun, yun ang gusto mo talaga. Paborito mo ba yun?

JJ: Opo

WR: Marami ba siyang sayaw na alam?

JE: Meron siya yung kay Michael Jackson.

WR: Okay lang ba iyon kasi…..Pero ano ha…..Hindi ko alam…..nagiingat na tuloy ako dahilkonting galaw mo pinapansin eh. Di ba? 400 thousand hits po ito ha. Sa YouTube, sa Twitter, ang nakapanood. Ibig sabihin niyan, pinapanood nilang lahat ang Willing Willie. [audience claps]. Iba ang TV5. [JJ's little sister approaches Janjan]. Oh ang sweet sweet ng kapatid mo.

JE: Magaling rin ho iyang sumayaw kuya Wil.

WR: Oh, Magaling rin daw na sumayaw. O baka magkareklamo na naman. Puwede bang pasayawin iyan? May mga lawyers ba tayo, attorney?O sayaw ka [to the little sister]

**Music plays. Little Sister dances. **

WR: Okay, Thank You. Kasi yung pamilya nila masaya eh. Masaya yung pamilya nila eh. O Janjan ah, wag ka ng umiyak. Ayoko na yung sinayaw mo, ako na lang ang sasayaw nun.

**Michael Jackson's Billie Jean music plays. Janjan dances MJ's signature move with hands on the hat and the groin. WR stops**

WR:  Okay, sandali. [audience claps] Ganun ba sumayaw si Michael Jackson. Ah ganun pala talaga.

JE:  Yung sinasayaw niya Kuya Wil gustong makita ng mga tao. Dami kaya nagrequest.

WR: Wag ka na sumayaw nun. Yung kamay nun dito mo nalang ilagay sa ulo.Kasi kaya pala, kaya ganun sumayaw si Janjan…Anong sabi mo?

JE: "Kaya ho ganun ang sayaw ni janjan kasi ho nageemote ang tugtog nung kanta na yun, kaya ho siya malungkot. At saka artistahin yung bata na yan, magaling talagang umiyak Kuya Wil. Konting ano lang yan iiyak."[Janjan cries]

WR: Wag ka ng umiyak. Gusto mo bang sumayaw? [Janjan seems to me being persuaded by his mom] Anong gusto mong sayawin. Yung dati o bago?

JJ; Michael Jackson

WR: Okay Michael Jackson [On the background JJ insists that JJ should dance the previous routine] Eh nagtuturo yung tatay eh. Okay ha yung Michael Jackson, wag na hawak sa ano ha.

**JJ dances MJ routine again with one hand in the groin. WR stops it again.**

WR: Wala bang iba. Wala bang iba? Talagang ako'y mahihinto niyan pag ganyan.

JE: Pero Kuya Wil ang dami talagang nagrerequest yung sayaw niya datiang gusto niyang sayawin.

WR: Alin?

JE: Yung sinayaw niyang Next Episode.

WR: Alin yun?

**Next Episode plays**

WR: (laughs). Wag na. Hindi na. Hindi na. Ayusin muna natin ang problema natin. Okay. Ha Janjan? Anong gusto mong sabihin madami ka ng tagahanga.

JJ: [teary eyed] Maraming Salamat. [sobbing]

WR: Bakit ka umiiyak ngayon?

JJ: [sobbing] Wala lang masaya. [audience claps]

WR:  Okay na [JE still insists that JJ dance Next Episode]. Ano yun?

JE: Music ho. Next Episode

WR: Ano ba yung Next Episode? [Next Episode plays] Wag na yan. Ako na naman ang masisisi. Kayo ang nagturo, ako ang masisisi. Wala bang iba siyan sayaw yung masaya?

**I Know You Wan't Me plays. Janjan dances hiphop. Followed by Jojo**

WR: Okay, maraming salamat sa pamilya. Hali kayo, anong gusto niyong sabihin sa DSWD sa mga sangaya ng ating gobyerno, at sa mga tao na nagrereklamo na na-abuso ang anak nyo dito sa Willing Willie? Siempre kayo ang mga magulang nito. Again, anong gusto mong sabihin sa kanila?

DS: Ang masasabi ko lang po eh wag naman po nilang sabihan ng ganun kasi napakasakit ho sa magulang na sabihan na nachnachild abuseyung anak ko [DS cries] dahil hindi naman po namin tinuturuan ng masama yung anak ko. Sana po maintindihan ninyo na yung talent ng anak ko eh ganun talaga. Gusto nya lang po siguro na mag-artista na maexpose sa mga tao kaya po gusto nya rin pong sumayaw o guminhawa po ang buhay namin. Saka po sa mga ibang channel po na katulad po ng Going Bulilit bakit ho hindi niyo kinukwestiyon yung ginagawa ninyo sa show na yan.  At saka ho sa anak ko po kinukwestiyon niyo po ng malaki. Yun lang ho ang panawagan ko na sana ho eh wag niyo pong masamain yung ginagawa ng anak ko. Yun lang po

JE: Kuya Wil, tulad ho ng mga nasa kabilang istasyon, mas malala pa nga ho ang ginagawa nila talagang pag napapanood namin, naghuhubad talaga. Yung mga bata ginagaya nila.

WR: Di bale wag na nating pagusapan yung ibang channel an importante eh yung mensahe mo unang una sa mga nagcocommento na napapabayaan, naabuso yung anak niyo. Kasi sabihin niyo naman na nangangailangan kayo ng pera kaya kayo sumali. Yun naman ang totoo eh

JE: Yun ho talaga ang totoo Kuya Wil. Kung makikita niyo nga eh yung tirahan namin eh wala parin kaming pintuan hanggang ngayon. Tsaka yung TV namin hayan talagang…

WR: Yung TV nila kasi walang channel 5

JE: Nagkaroon na Kuya Wil kahapon kasi bumili kami ng converter kahapon. Sa Quiapo.

WR: Sino ang nagisip na mag-audition siya rito?

JE: Noong napanood namin, kami rin ang nakaisip kasi sumali na rin po ako dito Kuya Wil eh. Eh hindi ako pinalad. Sabi ko, "Subukan mo kaya Jan". Sabi niya, "O sige papa gusto ko rin".

WR: Ano bang trabaho mo?

JE: Parlor po Kuya Wil, May Parlor po ako sa Project 6

WR: Ah siya pala ang may parlor. Yun lang ang trabaho mo?

JE: Yun lang po ang trabaho ko

WR: Okay sana naintindihan ng lahat. Yung mga nag Twitter at nagYouTube na una ang tingin nyo ay inaabusp, una hindi namin yan ginagawa sa ating mga kababayan. Nandito ho kami para magbigay ng saya at tulong at ng pag-asa. Tulad ng mga batang ito, hindi ba nangangarap eh. Sa hirap ng buhay. Poverty ang pinaguusapan natin dito. Sa hirap ng buhay po iyan. Nandito kami para magbigay ng saya. Kung may na-offend kami, may na-offend ako,  humihingi po ako ng paumanhin pero ang importante ay nakita naming masaya ang pamilyang ito. Kamukha niyan nanalo kayo ng 10 thousand ano ang ginawa ninyo?

JE: Anong binili mo nak sa 10 thousand mo?

JJ: MP5 at bike

JE: Yun ang nabili niya. Tuwang tuwa siya nung nakabili ng ganun. Kaya binili ko sa kanya yung kinita niyang sampung libo.

WR: O sige, Okay na. Sana ho maliwanagan. Salamt ho sa inyo.

**Suan exits. Next Episode plays. WR dances body wave**

**TRANSCRIPT ENDS HERE*****

Johnoy Danao Cover- Mr. Brightside

So I was about to sleep last night and I tried to download the 4th episode of Good Times Acoustic. You know, I'm an avid fan of Mo Twister's podcast so it's kind of odd this time because I was just about to hear GTA the first time. But it wasn't the first time I heard of Johnoy sings, he guested in the podcast about twice already and I love his renditions. Then last night, I was laying and Johnoy started to sing Mr. Brightside by The Killers and it was so freaking amazing. See for yourself!

I told you! It was an amazing rendition. And there is a lot more of them so here I am right now downloading GTA from iTunes and adding me all in my playlist. Johnoy has this bedroom voice that I love, and from  now on, he's going to be my lullaby singer. Good Times!

***
Catch Good Times Acoustic live every Sundays, 8PM-10PM with Mo Twister and Johnoy Danao. You can also download them in iTunes for free.

A Letter Regarding Homosexuality

I owe this to the writer of the comment which was posted last week on my entry on Cristy Fermin. This just came to my attention last night because this wonderful comment was diverted to the spam folder. Too bad, it was posted as anonymous, I can't cite her for this. But to whoever you are, I would like to thank you for a wonderful comment.

To give you some background on why this specific comment was posted, my entry on March 31 involves the homophobic comment of Cristy Fermin against Aiza Seguerra. The commentary part of the post were become a discussion area on morality and homosexuality. And then, some people started to quote from the Bible, so in retaliation the anonymous person posted this letter:

Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan

I love the wit in the post. I do hope that the Filipino society would open their minds. In these changing times, blinded faith is totally neanderthal.

Ayala Malls Feature Talks on Concept of Beauty Equation with Nigel and Ms. J

Ayala Malls is giving a week long tribute to beauty as it hosts a series of talks on "Concepts of Beauty Equation" with top-photographer Nigel Barker and the runway coach Ms. J Alexander-- both are judges on the top rating American TV series America's Next Top Model hosted by Tyra Banks.

Below is the schedule of talks:
Greenbelt 3 Park- April 14, 6:30PM
Trinoma Activity Center- April 15 7PM
Alabang Town Center Activity Center- April 16 5PM

So if you happened to be a top fan of ANTM like me, try to drop by the venues and get tips and tricks on beauty first hand from the experts. See you there!

Transcript of Willie Revillame's Speech on Willing Willie, April 8

Sa April 23 po , magsisix months na po ang programa natin-- anim na buwan na po tayo.  Noon hong March 12, nagkaroon po ng problema which is nagreact po ang lahat… after one week. Yun pong bata na si Janjan na sumayaw daw po nang malisyoso at hinusgahan na po ako ng mga sangay ng gobyerno. Sinabi nila na inabuso ko yung bata, chinild abuse ko yung bata, inexploit ko yung bata dahil daw pinasayaw ko raw ng pinasayaw. Dahil umiiyak na raw ho yung bata, pinilit ko pang sumayaw.

Alam niyo ho, una sa lahat, pagnagkakaroon ho kami ng auditions hindi ko ho nakakausap lahat ng mga contestants sa Wil Time Big Time. Dito ko lang ho namimit yan. So kaya if you will noticeyung eksena na yon, tinanong ko siya kung anong kakantahin mo.  Sabi niya, "Hindi po ako kakanta, sasayaw po ako."  Eto pong bata na ito ay anim na taon lamang eh. Ang kanyahong father binati pa niya na may parlor. So hindi po namin alam ang buhay ng ating mga kababayan. Sana ho magcecelebrate kami ng anim na buwan sa 23…tayo…tayong lahat.

 Kanina ho, for the past days, marami ho akong pinagdaanan eh. Nung nasa ABS pa ako, nagkaroon ng stampede 71 dead people. Sa morgue ho, magisa lang ho akong lumalapit, wala ho akong mga kasama na boss ng ABS. Ako lang po yun.  Wala ho akong kasama. Ako po ang humingi ng tawad sa pamilya. Ako rin po ang humingi ng tawad sa mga bangkay- 71 dead people. Sa mga nanay ako po ang humingi ng tawad. Pitumpu't isang bangkay ho, lumuluhod ako. Hanggang minumura ako ng ibang pamilya. Lahat ng mura ho inabot ko. Pero after ng mura yinayakap ako. "Kung hindi ka lang mahal ng magulang ko, papatayin kita Willie. Pinuntahan ka ng nanay ko kasi birthday ng nanay ko. Pinuntahan ka ng nanay ko-- kagabi nagpamanicure pa siya kasi nanay ko labandera lang, Willie. Para daw pag hinawakan mo daw siya, maganda yung kamay niya. "

Marami hong istorya na totoong naexperience ko. Noong ho nakaburol ang lahat ng mga yan, ako lang ho ang pumupunta magisa, sarili kong pera. Hindi ko na ho ito dapat sabihin pa pero ito po ang pinaka-grabeng grabeng kampanya na tanggalin ho ako sa industriya. Ako po ang humihingi ng tawad sa pamilya. Ako po ang humaharap. Alam po ng Panginoong Diyos iyan. Sa sarili kong pera, inaabutan ko nang palihim yang lahat na mga yan. Bumalik ho ang programa at minahal niyong lahat. Naniniwala po ako na yung mga pitumpu't isang mga yon, mga nanay at lolo na namatay, pinagdadasal ako lagi. Nilalapit po ako sa Diyos na sana eh lagi akong nandito. Kaya ho naniniwala ako na narito pa rin ako.

Nagkaroon  po kami ng problema, yung Wilyonaryo, dayaan, hanggang nagkaaway kami ni Joey De Leon dahil nangdadaya daw ako yung ganon gmga salita. Nagkaayos na po kami, nagkaayos na po kami ni Joey. Malaki na ho ang respeto ko sa tao na yan, kay Vic Sotto at sa Eat Bulaga. Nagkaroon ng problema, ako nanaman ang hinarap ng ABSCBN non. "Ikaw na ang makipagusap sa tao".  Na hindi ko ho kasalanan iyon. Kasi ho kaya ko sinasabi lahat ito kasi ho matagal akong nanahimik. Tumahimik po ako sa sarili ko na lang tinitiis kasi hindi ko na ho pinoproblema yang mga yan. Ako na lang tirahin, tahimik na lang po ako.

After ng Wilyonaryo, nagkaroon po ng insidente: Ang well-loved president, the late Tita Cory Aquino. Ang lahat po nang sasabihin ko ay totoo lamang.Hindi po ako magsisinungaling sa inyo at alam ng mga tao yan. Nong ako po ay pumasok, may tumawag sa akin na si Tita Cory ho ay wala na. So nagisip ho agad ako at tinawagan ho ako ng aming direktor na nirerespeto ko at minamahal ko Mr. Johnny Manahan. Sabi niya, "Willie wala na ang ating well-loved president na si Tita Cory. Ano ang nasa isip mo?" Bigla po akong tumawag sa EP at pinakuha ko lahat ng video niya saTVPatrol ang sabi ko kakanta ako ng "Munting Hiling". Pakuha ka ng kandila at magdasal tayo. Magbigay tayo ng respeto. Yan po ang araw na namatay si Tita Cory. Kumanta ako ng munting hiling, kung makikita nyo ang tape na yan, very solemn ho yun at nagbigay kami ng respeto. And Ms. Kris Aquino texted me, sabi "Willie, mahal ka ng nanay ko kasi pagnanood siya". Kahit nung nasa ospital pa si Tita Corytinetext ako ni Kris, kasi daw kinikiss daw ako sa TV dahil favorite ng mga anak niya yung kanta ko pati si Tita Cory.

After ho nun gpangyayari na yun, kinabukasan, dapat ho eh magtatape kami.  Taping na lang po iyon eh. Sinabi ko ho sa management na ibigay na lang natin to sa mga Aquinos. Kasi, bakit pa tayo magshoshow: sasayaw ako ng giling-giling, magsasaya kami pero nagluluksa ang samabyanan. Noong una ho nagtaping kami. Nung nagtataping kami, kasi ho ng araw na yun tape. Para ho maintindihan nyong lahat kasi grabe na akong tirahin sa dyaryo, sa Inquirer, sa internet, sa twitter. Para gusto nila mamatay na ako sa mundo-- para mawala na ako sa mundong ito.Ganon ho ang ginagawa sa akin ngayon. So after ho nun, live yun at I'm sure nanonood ang ABS CBN at totoo to. Wag na wag kayong magsisinungaling, kahit saan tayo umabot haharapin ko ito. After po nun, sinabi ko po to, sa tape: Okay, nung nakatape po kami, inilabas po. Walang nakakaalam nito eh, sasabihin ko na po lahat to. Sobra na po ang kampanya laban sa akin. Lumabas ho kami sa screen sumasayaw ng giling giling yung kabong ni Tita Cory. Tumawag ako agad sa isa sa mga boss, kay Ms. Linggit Tan. "Ano ba naman kayo, nagsasasaya tayo. Nagluluksa ang sambayanan. Papasukan nyo kami ng ganyan. Nakakahiya sa mga Aquino.." Tinaggal nila yon. Tinanggal ho iyon, so nagreact sila sa sinabi ko. Pinasukan kami, nagsasaya kami, sumasayaw kami ng giling giling meron hong kabaong ng mahal nating presidente? Ang bastos bastos naman. At ako ho ang tumawag sa management. "wag niyo namang gawin iyan sa amin. Nakakhiya sa mga Aquino. Nagsasaya kami habang ang buong bayan nagluluksa. Parang wala kaming respeto."

Ano hong nangyari? Ang nangyari eto, alam ng Diyos to. Tutal ginaganyan nyo ako sassabihin ko nang lahat. Tumahimik ako para walang problema. Kasuhan ninyo ako, haharap ako. Isa ho sa management, ang sabi ko "Ibigay na natin to sa mga Aquino," Anong sabi sa akin? "Kailangan nating kumita-- commercial." Alam mo kung sino ka at haharapin kita. Sobra na ang ginagawa niyo sa akin. Sinabi po yan.

Pagkatapos non at humarap na naman ako live. During the Willie of Fortune may sumasayaw ho na babae na Nobody Nobody. Inilabas nanamn ho ang kabaong ni Tita Cory. Kung marerecall nyo yun, dun ulit ako nagalit. Kasi nilabas nanaman po eh,  tumawag na po ako sa managemen. Anong ginawa ng mga walang-hiyang sumisira sa akin? Pinakita po iyon sa YouTube na galit na galit daw ako. Binabastos ko daw ang presidente. Alam niyo ba ang puno't dulo nun? Yun ho ang totoo non. Bago pa man mangyari yan, tumawag ako sa management, kinausap ko sila, "Wag naman nating palabas yan, magbigay tayo ng respeto." Ano nanamang ginawa sa akin? Winasak nyo nanaman ako sa Twitter, sa YouTube. Hindi nyo pinanood yung kabuuan a thindi niyo po alam. Isang tao lang po ang nanindigan sa akin. Direktor ko po iyon sa Wowowee. Mr Johnny Manaha. Mr. M. Palakpakan natin ho ang tao na iyon. Dahil alam na alam niya ang katotohanan at andon po siya. Sa pamilya Aquino, sa presidente, ito po ang katotohanan.

Pagkatapos ho niyan, Wilyonaryo, Stampede, eto na naman. Babalik na ho ako sa Wowowee July 31. Kinausap na ako ni Ms. Charo Santos. Nagmiting na po ako sa mga staff ko. Pinintahan ako ni Ms. Linggit Tan sa bahay ko sa tagaytay. Meron ho kaming pinadalang sulat na piandala ko kay Jobert dahil isang bubong lang kami, tinitira ako sa isang bubong. Tapos na yan, nangyari na yan. So ang pakiusap ko naman sa management. Siguro naman ho kumikita ang programa ng Wowowee. Anong ginawa nila? Wala silang ginawa. Noong sumulat ho ang abogado ko sa kanilang lahat diyan, sa laht diyan, kay Ms. Cory Vidanes, kay Sir Gabby, kay Mam Charo, nagreact pa sila.Anong balak nila sa aking gawin? Istop yung show. At bigyan na lang ako ng once a week show. Pero babalik na sana ako. Pero isang araw tinawagan na lang ako ni Linggit Tan. Tinawagan ako, nagmeeting kami sa isang hotel, sa Imperial, sa isang kwarto, nandoon si Direk Bobot, Si Jay ang aking Business Unit Head. Ang sabi ho nila"Hindi ka na makakabalik, once a week ka na lang." Nilalagay pa ako sa Studio 23. Nilalagay ako sa isang programang parang totally out na ako. Bakit ho? Eh nangako sila na babalik na ako. Yan ang totoo nyan. Kaya nagdesisyon na ako na hindi na ako babalik. Eto lahat ng ito ay totoo.

Tapos ito, nangyari na naman ito. Sino ba ang gumagawa nito sa paninira ko? Meron ho kaming kaso pa eh. Hindi kami makuhanan ng TRO. Pilit nilang kunin, kinuhuha, para po itong programa ko ay mapahinto, ang programa natin mapahinto. Limang buwan na ho mahigit hindi nila makuhanan ng TRO. Eto po ngayon, nakakita ng butas. Hindi ko sila pinagbibintangan. Sinong gagawa nito? Kung sino man to, mahabag kayo. Kung ako okay lang eh. Mabubuhay naman ako. Kuntento na ako sa kung anong meron ako ngayon. Hindi na ako naghahanagad. Pero yung mga taong naghahangad, yung taong humihingi ng pagasa, yung mga pumipila sa labas, yung mga nanay, yung mga special children, mga special child na nandito araw-awa- kayo ang gumawa niyan. Kung sususpindihen nyo ang show, hindi naman ako natatakot na eh, lagi nyo naman akong ginaganyan eh. Ilang beses nyo akong tinganggal sa ABS, pero  pag kailangan ng ratings, tatawagan ka ibabalik ka di ba?

Wag niyo na akong lagyan ng music.

So yan ang pangyayyaring yan. Ngayon nakipagusap ako sa TV5 management. Ilang araw na po akong nagiisip. Ang sabi ko po sa kanila, itong mga tao na toayaw na akong tigilan. Hanggang ilibing na po ako ng buhay. Tinira po ako sa twitter, yung kay Janjan. Ang pinakita po, yung pinutol, inisplice na video ang pinakita. Pinuersa ko daw na sumayaw, pinaiyak ko daw, chinild abuse ko yung bata. Panoorin nyo ang buon segment ng Wiltime Bigtime kung papaano. Ni hindi ko nga alam yung nagsasayaw na bata.  Pinaglaruan ko daw. Wala ho ni isa dito sa studio na nakaisip na may malisya dun sa bata. Nakadamit yung bata. Nakayos yung bata. Sumasayaw na ho ng ganon. Four yrs old pa lang si Janjan sinasayaw na yun sa kanyang eskuwelahan sa mga pakontes yun na po ang sayaw ng bata. Ngayon anong ginawa ng DSWD, kinasuhan na po ako, inakusahan na agad ako na child abuser ako. Anon hong ginawa ng CHR, Commission on Human Rights, yun ho hinusgahan na ako. Inexploit  ko yung bata, Chinild Abuse ko. Lahat ho dito inakusahan ako. Sa diyaryo dinodrawingan ako ng monster. Kung mababasa nyo ho yan, hindi ko na binabasa, sinasabihan na lang ako.  Lahat ho ganun ang ginawa sa akin. Lahat ho yang mga tao na yan.

Eto ho yung mga mayayaman. Hindi naman ako naapektuhan eh dahil ang puso ko wala sa kanila, nasa mga mahihirap.

Gusto ko lang ulit ipaliwanang sa inyo na yung P&G, naglabas ng statement na napakasakit sa amin. Sila ho ay nagpull-out na. Yung Inasal nagpull-out na rin. Dahil may statement sila na…tulad ng Proctor &Gamble…napakasakit ho ng ginawa nila sa amin. Medyo masyadong personal. Na ayaw nilang maglagay sa isang programang ganon. Na yong behavior ay hindi maganda. Wala ho kaming kasalanan, wla ho akong kasalanan. Humingi na ako ng paumanhin sa inyo kung may na offend. Pero hindi ako humihingi ng tawad kasi ho wala akong ginawang masama sa bata na iyon. Hindi ko minolestiya ang batang iyon.

Gusto ko namang magpasalamat ho sa Unilever. Sila ho ay nagpaalam sa akin kagabi. Mineet ko po sila kagabi. Sobra po. Yung Surf, Rexona, Vaseline, Pepsodent. Alam niyo ho ang purpose nila magbigay ng saya. Gustong ibalik nila pag binili yung produkto. Naglabas sila ng statement. Ang sabi nila, "Willie aalis kami sa programa mo. Pero aalis kami sa lahat ng channel. In fairness sayo, para hindi ka unfair." Palakpakan natin ang Unilever.

Wala pa pong husga eh, wala pa pong kaso. Ginawa nyo na akong criminal. Kayo nga ho ang lumabas ng gate. Mamigay nga kayo ng pera diyan sa mga matatanda. Bumaba   nga kayo diyan sa labas ng kanto. Bigyan nyo yung mga naghihirap diyan. Yun dapat ang ginagawa niyo. Hindi yung pinupuntirya nyo ako. Yun dapat ang ginagawa niyo. Di ba?

Maraming mga artistang nakisawsaw. Magisip mun akayo bago kayo makisawsaw. Ang sakit niyo. Yan si Jim Paredes ng APO tinira ako sa twitter. Yan si Aiza Seguerra tinira ako sa Twitter. Si Agot Isidro, Leah Salonga, Mylene Dizon, Bianca Gonzales ng SNN. Susuportahan niyo ba ang mga tao na yan? Anong ginawa niyo sa samabayanang  Pilipino? Sino pa? Si Tuesday na kasama ko dito na hindi ko maintindihan tiga dito ka tinira mo ako. K Brosas. Lea Navarro. Kapwa tayo artista. Nagbigay ba kayo ng tulong? Nagbigay ba kayo sa Bantay Bata ng P1Milyon? Wag kayong manghusga ng kapwa nyo artista. Dapat magsama sama tayo. Tulungan niyo kami. Wag kayong manghuhusga. Tandaan niyo, ang masang Pilipino ang sumusuporta sa inyo. Yang mga tao na yan, winasak ang pagkatao ko sa Twitter.

Jim Paredes ng Apo. Lea Salonga. Aiza Seguerra, magpakalalake ka. Tandaan mo yan. Batang bata ka pa, nagtratrabaho ka na. Hindi ba exploitation yan. Magisip ka. Tingnan niyo muna ang sarili niyo bago kayo manghusga. Agot Isidro, wala ka namang anak eh bakit mo ako gaganyanin? Alamin mo muna. Bianca Gonzales. Akala niyo kung sino kayo. May natulungan ba kayong mahihirap?

Kaya  ko lang ho sinasabi ito, nagtitimpi lang ako. Ayaw ko tong sabihin. Ayoko hong banggitin ang pangalan nila pero yan ho ang ginagaw sa akin sa Twitter. Ang wasakin ako.

Tinawagan ho ang Technomarine sa Switzerland. Tinawagan sa America ang Unilever. Tinawagan lahat, inemail. Boboycott daw sila sa mga produkto pag ako daw ho ay sinamahan nila. Boboycottin niyo? Eto nga mga taong ito binabalik lang ng mga sponsors. Sino ba ang consumers? Sino ba ang namimili? Kayo ho ang bida dito, hindi ho ang mga sponsors. Dahil kung hindi kayo bibili sa mga sponsors, kung hindi kayo bibili ng mga produktong ito, wala. Hindi kikita itong mga to. Sinasabi ko sa inyong lahat yan.

Ako po, hindi po ako tumutulong nang nasa harapan niyo lang. Pero hindi ko na kailangang sabihin ito. Pasensiya na ho kayo hindi ako emosyonal hindi ako nagagalit. Pero sana bago kayo tuminin sa kapwa niyo, tumingin muna kayo sa salamin. Ano ang nagawa ko sa bansa ko? Ano ang nagawa ko sa bayan natin?

Bakit? Dahil sinoportahan ko si Senator Villar ganito ang tingin niyo sa akin? Nakita ko yung tao maganda ang puso. Nakita ko yung tao tumutulong sa mahihirap. I'll stick with him. Orange ang kulay ko kaya pinagiinitan niyo ako? Haharap ako sa inyo. Patawag ako ng Kongreso, patawag ako ng Senado at kung sino pa. Haharap ako dahil wala ho akong ginawang masama sa batang iyon.

Gusto ho nilang mahinto ang programa. Halos 200 tao ho ang nandito. Galing halos ABS yang mga yan sumama sa akin. Kung masama po akong tao, walang sasama sa aking mga tao at dancers. Yung iba po diyan 25 years, 18 years na sa kanila.

Ngayon po, nakipagusap po ako sa presidente ng  TV5, Atty Rey Espinosa. Nagusap kami na hanggang ngayon na lang po ako sa Willing Willie. Magpapahinga na muna po ako, hindi po ako magpapaalam. Starting po today ang live namin , bukas ho nakatape na po kami. Lalabas ho yon mapapanood niyo. Starting ho ng Monday hanggang Holy Week, pagiisipan ko ho kung ako po ay babalik pa sa industriyang ito. Bigyan niyo lang po muna ako ngpagkakataon sa sarili ko. Masyado ho akong binintangan ng binintangan ng wala ho akong ginawang masama sa akin. Sa mga tao hong gumawa niyan sa aki, ang isipin niyo yung mga matanda na nasa labas, mga bata, mga mahihirap sa labas. Wag ako. Instrumento lang ako ng mga tao. Wag niyo akong kainggitan dahil hindi ako lumalabas ng ibang lugar. Lagi lang ako nandito sa studio na to sa bahay ko o nakikipagpaligsahan sa inyo. Kung kayo ang magaling, magaling kayo. Basta ang puso ko, nandito sa mga mahihirap.

Humihingi lang rin ako ng paumanhin kay Boss MVP nadamay kayo dito. Atty Rey Espinosa, Sir Bobby, at sa lahat. Pasensiya na muna kayo at wala muna ang Willing Willie. Hindi ho kami nasuspinde. Wala hong suspensiyon ang MTRCB. Wag ho kayong magalit sa MTRCB. Nagpalit ho sila ng tatlong board. Bakit?  Lahat ho ng mga yon involved sa ABSCBN. Yung isang abogado, asawa nasa ABS. Yung isa, asawa sa ABS. Si Ms. Lea Navarro, biruin niyo hinusgahan na ako sa tweet tapos isa siya sa mga board. Hinusga ka na sa akin eh tapos  member ka ng board. Alam niyo ho dapata suspended ang show.Suspended last night for 20 days 30 days. May tumawag sa akin from MTRCB. Hindi sila buo doon. Meron din pong galit sa desisyon nila. Dapat ho suspendido kami, pero anong nangyari? Pinutol. Kasi pinakita namin yung mga babae na sumasayawa sa Going Bulilit na naka-bra lang. Pinakita namin yung apat na lalake na naka lampin na sumasayaw din sa Showtime tulad ng kay Janjan.  Bakit kami lang? Kung sususpindihin niyo kami, suspindihin niyo lahat yan. Hindi ba tama yon/

Iba ang tinititigan niyo sa tinititigan niyo. Maging fair po kayo. Tandaan niyo hindi ako titigil sa adhikain na ito.

Maaring ito ay eye-opener sa atin. Dapat ho tulungan natin ang mga bata sa kalye. DSWD, kunin nyo lahat yan. Bigyan nyo ng magandang buhay. Human Rights, Chairman, tinitira nyo ako hinuhusgahan niyo ako , ang daming namamatay na OFWs. Yun ang tulungan natin. Oh alam nyo ba? Nagbigay ako ng kalahating milyon umuwi lang dito yung OFW sa Lebanon. Nagbigay po ako. Binanggit ko bayan? Sasabihin ko lang sa inyo, gumawa ako ng paraan. Nagbigay ako ng isang milyon kay Mam Charo. Sa 71 dreams, 500. Hindi ko lang alam kung sa Bantay Bata o sa isa pa. Binigay ko ho yan. Binabanggit ko ba sa inyo yan? DI ba? Meron bang may gumagawa niyan? Kung may gumagawaniyan, mabuti. Sama-sama tayo, wag nyo akong gitgitin. Hindi ako masamang tao. Ang hangad ko lang ay magpasaya at tumulong sa mahihirap.

Basta nangangako ako. Kahit ho wala kaming commercial. Basta pag balik ko. Nakausap ko po ang presidente ng TV5 kahit ho isakripisyo ko na ang sweldo ko. Yun po ang bibigay kong papremyo. Itutuloy po namin at kasama ko ang TV5. Lahat ng perang makukuha namin, kahit inabandona kami ng mga commercial, kahit iniwan nila kami, kahit wlang isang commercial. Tutuloy namin to. Ang aming purpose ay magbigay ng saya at ng pagasa. Hihingi ako ng tulong sa aming presidente, hihingi ako ng tulong kay Manny Pangilinan. Kahit malugi daw kami.

Maraming salamat sa inyo. Mawawala ho kami ng dalwang linggo o kung ano man. At kung babalik man kami, may panibagong pagasa ulit. At bibigyan namin ng proteksyon ang mga bata at pamilya na tulad ni Janjan. Kami na ang gagawa niyan.

Marami pong salamat at pasensiya na ho kayo. Kahit idemanda ako ng ABS, haharap ako dahil hawak ko lahat ang katotohanan. May mga lalabas pong witnesses pag sinabi ko. Tandaan niyo po, yung mga sponsors po na iniwan ako, wag po kayong magalit sa kanila. Meron silang mga boss sa abroad.

Tsaka yung mga tumitira sa akin sa twitter., kung idedemanda ka ng TV5, idedemanda rin kita. Magdedemandahan tayo. Idedemanda ko lahat ng tumira sa akin sa Twitter, lahat ng personal. Tandaan nyo yan.

Salamat ho sa inyo. Basta tandaan niyo. Itong programang ito matitigil muna. After Holy Week, magaanounce ho kami kung tuloy pa ang Willing Willie o hindi na. Sa mga nangangarap at humhingi, ipagdasal niyo po ako. Si janjan po, inaaruga ko ang pamilya niya.  Dahil ang kailang po nila ay mga tao na kakalinga sa kanila. Wala pong kumakalinga sa kanila. Lahat po ng taong lumalapit sa kanila minumura sila. Dahil daw ang tatay ay bading, lalong binababa. Pero ako, anong ginagawa ko, tinatawagan ko ang pamilya kinakamusta ko. Yan ho ang gawin niyo DSWD, marami pa pong bata ang katulad ni Janjan.

Maraming salamat po. Magandang gabi sa inyo. Mahal na mahal ko kayo, at sana ipagdasal niyo na makabalik pa ang programang ito.