Saturday, March 26, 2011

How To Write a Hate Mail

Finally, I have written my first hate letter ever addressed to this annoying "friend" of mine who thinks we are best friends. You see, this gay guy always drags me to his (sex-) escapades which I decline every time he asks me too. To make the story short, he wants me to be with him every time he has a "booking" for me to witness how "beautiful" he is in the eyes of those slackers-slash-addicts-slash-not my type of guys. So, five hours ago, I started to write a hate letter to vent out my abomination (Yes, that's the word!) to this "friend" and I am now contemplating on whether or not I should send it to him or not (Well, that depends on my mood.).

Well, writing a hate letter is something that doesn't come out easily. Firstly, because they tend to be emotional and secondly, because expressing what you feel in words is always difficult. In the course of writing my first ever hate mail, I came to realize that there are several things that matter when writing one. Here are they: 
  1. Never write while you’re angry. Feel free to replace the word ‘angry’ with any other strong emotion (sad, hellbent, crying). Writing while you’re angry or overly emotion is dangerous. So, take a break and breathe deep before the pen ever touches the pad. BUT, feel free to rant on Twitter or a paper so that you can always refer to some of the words you have used. They are may be beneficial for the following step.
  2. Words are your weapon, use them wisely. Words have the ability to heal wounds as well as create lifelong scars. When you write a hate letter you want to convey your hatred in every word. You must realize that some words cause paper cuts while others are machetes. Make them more profound and vivid. Don't tell him you're angry, tell him that you want to tear him on every segment of his body-odor infested body and have the parts masticated by a hungry alligator. 
  3. Always stay in control. The wisest of warriors will tell you that control is how they win battles, and staying in control of what you’re writing is not only a way to make sure you get all your points across, but it also guarantees that your words won’t be used against you at a later time. Think about your words, and then listen to them from the perspective of the reader. Feel their emotion and make sure it is exactly what you wanted your words to convey.
  4. Never write what you don’t mean. Writing a hate letter is akin to writing a love letter. That’s why if you don’t mean it, don’t say it. You and only you are accountable for your actions whether they be on paper, a computer screen, or a bathroom wall. So never write what you don’t mean, as it will almost always be used against you at a later time, and it’s hard to defend what you never truly believed to begin with.
  5. Perform expectation management before you send Expect that your reader isn’t the only one that’s going to see it. Expect to ruffle some feathers. Expect that you’re going to get a response from the reader. Expect the hate to be returned in some way, shape or form. In short, make your hate letter as your first blow and always have back-up sarcasm and fiery words to hurl back once you're reader retaliates. 
Writing a hate letter will always make you feel better once it’s done. However, before sending it, make sure that the gladness you feel isn’t resolved completely by just getting the words down on paper.
However, you always have the right to choose between burning them after writing, or being really bitchy and send those to them. 

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